Steven Gerrard has opened his heart on a season of personal turmoil and glory - and confessed he couldn't have coped with his court case hell four years ago.
Liverpool skipper Gerrard, named Football Writers' Footballer of the Year after an outstanding season pursuing Manchester United, has revealed vast reserves of mental strength in blocking out a probable July court appearance after an incident in a Southport bar.
Many stars would have buckled under the pressure of having to perform at the highest level and maintain Liverpool's title dream.
But Gerrard managed to sideline his personal anguish and deliver top class performances which helped keep the pressure on Sir Alex Ferguson's men until the end of the campaign.
And now, in his first major interview, Gerrard reveals: WHAT gave him the inner strength to survive his court case nightmare.
Why he will sign a new four-year deal in the coming weeks.
How he is consulted by Kop boss Rafa Benitez on transfer decisions.
Where he is happiest playing in the current Liverpool line-up.
Speaking of his legal trauma, Gerrard said: "I've had to deal with a situation this season that's been difficult and if that had happened to me four or five years ago, it would have affected my form, I've no doubts about that.
"But with age, experience and maturity I have learned to park my problems or things on my mind until after a game. I have learned to deal with it in my own way and get on with life.
"I am really pleased I'm at the age now where if there is a problem or something's not going right I can park it to one side and deal with it.
"I have had to be professional and even more focused and I have to thank my manager Rafa and my team-mates for helping me get through this season because it hasn't been easy.
"And that's why I am really pleased with myself for the way I have dealt with it and how I haven't let it affect my football.
"Four or five years ago I had a situation where my mum and dad split up and I wasn't enjoying training and it affected my form.
"Certain other little things down the years have affected me too, and I am only human.
"I've come into work and brought the problems with me - both to the training ground and on to the pitch. I've not been able to deal with it - but this time around, with age and maturity I've learned to cope."
Gerrard's reward for a season which put Liverpool within touching distance of their first League title in 19 years will be a new four-year deal that he'll sign within days.
The Liverpool captain said: "I am on the verge of signing it now, there are just a couple of minor details, so I am hoping I can sign it before I go off on my holidays.
"This is a big contract for me and it's likely to be my final one. It takes me to 33 but I feel I'm in the prime of my footballing career at the moment. I feel confident and strong and I feel really good when I'm out on the pitch. The aim for me now is to stay fit for the next four years and try to play as many games as I can and win as many trophies as I can. I'm getting greedy when it comes to winning trophies because I know I have to win as many as I can before it's too late.''
Gerrard is always kept in the loop at Anfield on major team decisions - and he's excited at the prospect of Liverpool's summer transfer activity.
He said: "The couple of signings the manager will make this summer are really key to us getting over that final hurdle, because we know that maybe with a couple of per cent more we could have won it this time.
"This is the first time I've been involved in a title race that has lasted the distance and the buzz of running United really close has been so enjoyable that I want more of it.
"I'll have certain regrets when the season ends but I don't normally like looking back, to be honest. This time I'm going to use the experience to drive me on and try to win the title over the next few years. We certainly have the ability, as we've shown this year.
"It's a hard league to win and it's taught me that you do need the experience of being in title races to win them. I think because Chelsea and United both have that experience, maybe that's where we've come unstuck.
"Sometimes you just have to go for it and take big risks to win the kind of games that we have drawn. But we've learned a lot and I think next year could be our year - I'm really confident about that."
Gerrard's big aim is to stop United's trophy-winning juggernaut and he's confident now that Benitez has committed his future to Anfield that the pieces are falling into place.
"Rafa signing has definitely had an impact, '' said Gerrard. "If you see our form and the way we have played since he signed the new deal, it has given everyone a big lift and that is what this club is all about - togetherness.
"We don't like picking up the papers and reading about Liverpool involved in off-the-field stuff like contracts, owners and negotiations.
"I have been involved in that myself and it's not what we want here. We want togetherness, continuity - and that will bring out the best in the team.''
And will the Kop skipper continue in his second striker role next season? "I hope so because I've loved playing this role behind Fernando Torres this season,'' admitted Gerrard.
"Credit must go to the manager because he's seen the strengths of my game and has utilised them to the benefit of the team. Fernando has also been key to that.
"He stretches defenders, he's very direct and he runs in behind, which gives me a lot of space behind him. And with two holding midfielders behind me it gives me licence to do what I like doing, which is bursting forward and getting into attacking positions. I've had to work at certain roles and the manager has helped me not be selfish and only want to play in one position.
"If I was to say 'no, I only want to play in this position' I could find myself on the bench for England and not playing the way I want to at Liverpool. Rafa has told me to learn to play in different positions. I'm benefiting from that now."
Liverpool skipper Gerrard, named Football Writers' Footballer of the Year after an outstanding season pursuing Manchester United, has revealed vast reserves of mental strength in blocking out a probable July court appearance after an incident in a Southport bar.
Many stars would have buckled under the pressure of having to perform at the highest level and maintain Liverpool's title dream.
But Gerrard managed to sideline his personal anguish and deliver top class performances which helped keep the pressure on Sir Alex Ferguson's men until the end of the campaign.
And now, in his first major interview, Gerrard reveals: WHAT gave him the inner strength to survive his court case nightmare.
Why he will sign a new four-year deal in the coming weeks.
How he is consulted by Kop boss Rafa Benitez on transfer decisions.
Where he is happiest playing in the current Liverpool line-up.
Speaking of his legal trauma, Gerrard said: "I've had to deal with a situation this season that's been difficult and if that had happened to me four or five years ago, it would have affected my form, I've no doubts about that.
"But with age, experience and maturity I have learned to park my problems or things on my mind until after a game. I have learned to deal with it in my own way and get on with life.
"I am really pleased I'm at the age now where if there is a problem or something's not going right I can park it to one side and deal with it.
"I have had to be professional and even more focused and I have to thank my manager Rafa and my team-mates for helping me get through this season because it hasn't been easy.
"And that's why I am really pleased with myself for the way I have dealt with it and how I haven't let it affect my football.
"Four or five years ago I had a situation where my mum and dad split up and I wasn't enjoying training and it affected my form.
"Certain other little things down the years have affected me too, and I am only human.
"I've come into work and brought the problems with me - both to the training ground and on to the pitch. I've not been able to deal with it - but this time around, with age and maturity I've learned to cope."
Gerrard's reward for a season which put Liverpool within touching distance of their first League title in 19 years will be a new four-year deal that he'll sign within days.
The Liverpool captain said: "I am on the verge of signing it now, there are just a couple of minor details, so I am hoping I can sign it before I go off on my holidays.
"This is a big contract for me and it's likely to be my final one. It takes me to 33 but I feel I'm in the prime of my footballing career at the moment. I feel confident and strong and I feel really good when I'm out on the pitch. The aim for me now is to stay fit for the next four years and try to play as many games as I can and win as many trophies as I can. I'm getting greedy when it comes to winning trophies because I know I have to win as many as I can before it's too late.''
Gerrard is always kept in the loop at Anfield on major team decisions - and he's excited at the prospect of Liverpool's summer transfer activity.
He said: "The couple of signings the manager will make this summer are really key to us getting over that final hurdle, because we know that maybe with a couple of per cent more we could have won it this time.
"This is the first time I've been involved in a title race that has lasted the distance and the buzz of running United really close has been so enjoyable that I want more of it.
"I'll have certain regrets when the season ends but I don't normally like looking back, to be honest. This time I'm going to use the experience to drive me on and try to win the title over the next few years. We certainly have the ability, as we've shown this year.
"It's a hard league to win and it's taught me that you do need the experience of being in title races to win them. I think because Chelsea and United both have that experience, maybe that's where we've come unstuck.
"Sometimes you just have to go for it and take big risks to win the kind of games that we have drawn. But we've learned a lot and I think next year could be our year - I'm really confident about that."
Gerrard's big aim is to stop United's trophy-winning juggernaut and he's confident now that Benitez has committed his future to Anfield that the pieces are falling into place.
"Rafa signing has definitely had an impact, '' said Gerrard. "If you see our form and the way we have played since he signed the new deal, it has given everyone a big lift and that is what this club is all about - togetherness.
"We don't like picking up the papers and reading about Liverpool involved in off-the-field stuff like contracts, owners and negotiations.
"I have been involved in that myself and it's not what we want here. We want togetherness, continuity - and that will bring out the best in the team.''
And will the Kop skipper continue in his second striker role next season? "I hope so because I've loved playing this role behind Fernando Torres this season,'' admitted Gerrard.
"Credit must go to the manager because he's seen the strengths of my game and has utilised them to the benefit of the team. Fernando has also been key to that.
"He stretches defenders, he's very direct and he runs in behind, which gives me a lot of space behind him. And with two holding midfielders behind me it gives me licence to do what I like doing, which is bursting forward and getting into attacking positions. I've had to work at certain roles and the manager has helped me not be selfish and only want to play in one position.
"If I was to say 'no, I only want to play in this position' I could find myself on the bench for England and not playing the way I want to at Liverpool. Rafa has told me to learn to play in different positions. I'm benefiting from that now."
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