Rafa Benitez must feel like he’s found a peseta but lost a pound.
No sooner was he celebrating the arrival of Glen Johnson, while admitting he may have paid just a tad over the odds for him because he was English, than he received the devastating news that Andriy Voronin, the ‘Bovine Ponytail’, plans to return to Anfield from his loan spell at Hair Fair Berlin and “conquer the Premiership”.
Assuming that nothing was lost in translation, and that he didn’t mean to say he wanted to win the Conker Premiership, at a stroke he knocked about £3m off Rafa’s transfer budget.
If that was not enough, the news that Fabio Aurelio has been elected life president of the Darren Anderton Society in recognition of his sterling achievement in screwing up his knee playing football with his son will have driven poor Rafa to distraction once the awful consequences dawned upon him.
Yes, Andrea Dossena might now be denied his dream move to Juventus, which most Kopites have been dreaming about also, and bang goes another £6m-odd of transfer funds.
So, despite Rafa’s insistence that he can buy one more player without having to raise money from sales, the temptation to cash in on Alonso or Mascherano must have increased given the thinking that threatened the former’s tenure last close season.
I’ve written here before about the importance of retaining the services of these two, and don’t intend to repeat myself... oh to hell with it: Rafa, these two must not be sold at any price.
On the brighter side, it’s rumoured that Jermaine Pennant is considering crossing Stanley Park to play for Everton. Jermaine, I’ll pay your bus fare mate.
Why anyone would consider employing this unproductive, overrated wastrel is beyond me, but it seems there’s always someone desperate enough to take a chance on him.
Personally I’d be delighted to see him in a blue shirt, draining their coffers while peppering crosses into St Luke’s Church.
So who’s on the way in? Fernando Torres helpfully weighed into the debate this week, recommending David Villa, David Silva and Juan Mata to Rafa as the type of players we need.
Cheers, Fernando, those three might have slipped our mind if you hadn’t jogged our memory.
Have you got a spare £70m on you?
Reality seems to have returned to Fernando’s world shortly afterwards, when he conceded that Villa might just be outside of our financial means.
That still leaves the other two though.
Compared to our rivals though, we’re doing all right.
Manchester United have replaced the self-proclaimed ‘best player in the world’ with a pretty average right-winger.
Arsene Wenger still refuses to sign anyone but diminutive central midfield players.
Chelsea continue to be linked with a marquee signing, but look like having to settle for a bell tent in Yuri Zhirkov.
Only Manchester City are making hay, but are they making a team?
Early days I know, but it’ll take more than the return of Voronin to dampen my optimism.
No sooner was he celebrating the arrival of Glen Johnson, while admitting he may have paid just a tad over the odds for him because he was English, than he received the devastating news that Andriy Voronin, the ‘Bovine Ponytail’, plans to return to Anfield from his loan spell at Hair Fair Berlin and “conquer the Premiership”.
Assuming that nothing was lost in translation, and that he didn’t mean to say he wanted to win the Conker Premiership, at a stroke he knocked about £3m off Rafa’s transfer budget.
If that was not enough, the news that Fabio Aurelio has been elected life president of the Darren Anderton Society in recognition of his sterling achievement in screwing up his knee playing football with his son will have driven poor Rafa to distraction once the awful consequences dawned upon him.
Yes, Andrea Dossena might now be denied his dream move to Juventus, which most Kopites have been dreaming about also, and bang goes another £6m-odd of transfer funds.
So, despite Rafa’s insistence that he can buy one more player without having to raise money from sales, the temptation to cash in on Alonso or Mascherano must have increased given the thinking that threatened the former’s tenure last close season.
I’ve written here before about the importance of retaining the services of these two, and don’t intend to repeat myself... oh to hell with it: Rafa, these two must not be sold at any price.
On the brighter side, it’s rumoured that Jermaine Pennant is considering crossing Stanley Park to play for Everton. Jermaine, I’ll pay your bus fare mate.
Why anyone would consider employing this unproductive, overrated wastrel is beyond me, but it seems there’s always someone desperate enough to take a chance on him.
Personally I’d be delighted to see him in a blue shirt, draining their coffers while peppering crosses into St Luke’s Church.
So who’s on the way in? Fernando Torres helpfully weighed into the debate this week, recommending David Villa, David Silva and Juan Mata to Rafa as the type of players we need.
Cheers, Fernando, those three might have slipped our mind if you hadn’t jogged our memory.
Have you got a spare £70m on you?
Reality seems to have returned to Fernando’s world shortly afterwards, when he conceded that Villa might just be outside of our financial means.
That still leaves the other two though.
Compared to our rivals though, we’re doing all right.
Manchester United have replaced the self-proclaimed ‘best player in the world’ with a pretty average right-winger.
Arsene Wenger still refuses to sign anyone but diminutive central midfield players.
Chelsea continue to be linked with a marquee signing, but look like having to settle for a bell tent in Yuri Zhirkov.
Only Manchester City are making hay, but are they making a team?
Early days I know, but it’ll take more than the return of Voronin to dampen my optimism.
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