Jamie Carragher says defeat while playing for England, even in the World Cup, hurt less than a loss with Liverpool.
Carragher turned his back on international football last year after being constantly overlooked by then manager Steve McClaren.
The 30-year-old won 34 caps, the last of which saw him miss a penalty as England went out of the 2006 World Cup against Portugal in a shootout.
And while the nation mourned, Carragher was consoled by the fact he "would rather miss for England than LFC."
"Did I care we'd gone out of the tournament? Of course I did. Passionately," writes Carragher in his forthcoming autobiography.
"I've never given less than 100% in any game.
"Despite this, whenever I returned home from disappointing England experiences one unshakeable, overriding thought pushed itself to the forefront of my mind, no matter how much the rest of the nation mourned.
"'At least it wasn't Liverpool,' I'd repeat to myself, over and over.
"The text messages of consolation I received on the coach included one from Kenny Dalglish.
"'I would rather miss for England than LFC,' I wrote back.
"I confess: defeats wearing an England shirt never hurt me in the same way as losing with my club. I wasn't caring or indifferent, I simply didn't put England's fortunes at the top of my priority list.
"Losing felt like a disappointment rather than a calamity. I was never in love with playing for England in the first place. By the time I stopped I felt a huge weight lifting."
In the book, Carragher also expresses his desire to manage Liverpool when he retires from playing.
Carragher turned his back on international football last year after being constantly overlooked by then manager Steve McClaren.
The 30-year-old won 34 caps, the last of which saw him miss a penalty as England went out of the 2006 World Cup against Portugal in a shootout.
And while the nation mourned, Carragher was consoled by the fact he "would rather miss for England than LFC."
"Did I care we'd gone out of the tournament? Of course I did. Passionately," writes Carragher in his forthcoming autobiography.
"I've never given less than 100% in any game.
"Despite this, whenever I returned home from disappointing England experiences one unshakeable, overriding thought pushed itself to the forefront of my mind, no matter how much the rest of the nation mourned.
"'At least it wasn't Liverpool,' I'd repeat to myself, over and over.
"The text messages of consolation I received on the coach included one from Kenny Dalglish.
"'I would rather miss for England than LFC,' I wrote back.
"I confess: defeats wearing an England shirt never hurt me in the same way as losing with my club. I wasn't caring or indifferent, I simply didn't put England's fortunes at the top of my priority list.
"Losing felt like a disappointment rather than a calamity. I was never in love with playing for England in the first place. By the time I stopped I felt a huge weight lifting."
In the book, Carragher also expresses his desire to manage Liverpool when he retires from playing.
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